She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can’t possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she’s just, “not ready to date anyone”.

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

💬Just when you thought that, “just because you like PIZZA doesn’t mean that….”

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE’S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM…. WE’RE JUST GONNA SWYPE LEFT.

YOU GUESSED IT, THIS POST HAS PROFANITY…. BUT ONLY IN THE PHOTO. (UNLESS I JUST CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF MID–STORY). [!!!!YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!!!]

Before we dig into this story, save this photo and then zoom in to closely read on your device exactly what I told this “alleged” coward. (PHOTO QUALITY *NOT* COMPRESSED)

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It’s not enough. No, it’s not enough knowing that there’s a rogue unofficial Sheriff on your ass and is hell–bent on convicting you for the sick things you’re allowing to happen to innocent kids everywhere. No, that is just not enough. It’s not even enough knowing that I am actually destroying lives with facts I unearth about their childish times in politics. Look, Just because this rogue unofficial Sheriff hasn’t acknowledged you yet, does NOT mean that you’re getting off easily…. that only means that I currently just do not have enough time for your asinine shenanigans. (BETTER GET YOUR FIX WHILE THIS LASTS)

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JENNY…. FROM THE BRONX

YOU CAN PUT LIPSTICK ON A PIG ALL YOU WANT….

🤔💭💬She sure does like that staircase…. Hmm.

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If you were king ding-a-ling of all douchebags, what would you do?

You’d be all out there even though controversy surrounds you. You’d be on full–blast while people are on high–alert about you, wouldn’t you? Remember, you’re king ding-a-ling of all douchebags we’re talking about here. You’ve got nothing to fear and everything to hide. However, what happens when being as balls–out and corrupt as you are while you’re playing the role as this kingy-dingy-thingy catches up to you? What happens when all the cops you intimidate, or have in your back pocket, start working against you in order to save their own sorry butts? Uh-oh, then what are you to do? (Desperate times call for desperate measures) Maybe, you challenge authority. Maybe, you buck the system. But, maybe…. just maybe, you turn yourself in. But– what happens when you don’t?

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